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LIFE EXPERIENCED, PRACTICAL, WISE, UP TO DATE
& DOWN TO EARTH,
COUPLES & FAMILY THERAPISTS:

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For in person on line & face to face  Counselling.

 COUNSELLORS & COUNSELLING SUPERVISORS
Rod McClure JP & Carol Stuart

"Love never hurts......
It's in the wanting to be loved,
Wherein lies our pain."
crm.

Or
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow,
As the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man".
William Shakespeare.

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ORGANIC ENERGETIC TRANSFERENCE
Did it ever happen to you, when you were with a person and you felt a bad vibe, as if the person was stealing your energy?

“Everything is energy” is one of the main axioms of science, and human beings are no strangers to energy transformations.

Orchid Beetle An interesting study was conducted at the University of Bielefeld, Germany, which shows that plants can absorb energy from other plants. Olivia Bader-Lee, a physician and therapist, followed the results of this investigation.

  
 The science that studies the behaviour of energy in living things is called bioenergetics.

This research was conducted in algae, specifically in Chlamydomonas reinhardtii. 

It was discovered that in addition to photosynthesis, it also have an alternative source of energy and that would be to absorb energy from other algae. 

The charge of this research is the German biologist Olaf Kruse, and its findings were reported on Naturesite.com.

Read more...
 
Inner Child

BORN LIFE FORCE  of the INNER CHILD 
Seeking to maintain connection  

Brilliant sculpture by Alex Milov exhibited at the 2015 Nevada Burning Man Festival

Graphic art displaying our pure, innocent, sensitive and ever present
 Inner child 

Burning night
You’re free to come to your own conclusions about the piece’s meaning , but here’s what Milov wrote about the piece on the festival’s website:
“It demonstrates a conflict between a man and a woman as well as the outer and inner expression of human nature.
Their inner selves are executed in the form of transparent children, who are holding out their hands through the grating.
As it’s getting dark (night falls) the children start to shine.
This shining is a symbol of purity and sincerity that brings people together and gives a chance of making up when the dark time arrives.”


I want to love you without clutching
Appreciate you without judging

Join you without invading
Invite you without demanding
Leave you without guilt
Evaluate you without blaming
And help you without insulting
If I can have the same from you
Then we can truly meet
And enrich each other
Virginia Satir.

Her world impact could be summed up in her universal mantra:

Peace within, Peace between, Peace among.


EMOTIONALLY DISCONNECTED COUPLES. 
Sort of "Hanging in there" for the sake of the children.
Forever wanting.
Wanting to be the 
ONE.
Wanting their own way.
Wanting to be One with each other but never really able to see each other 'Eye to Eye'.

Cognitively holding onto adopted dysfunctional belliefs keeping them apart, "OUT of SORTS".

To often unconsciously denying the endless aching need for emotional and spiritual connection.
Sadly, often so defensive & guarded around their conditioned pain that they are unable to allow the ingestion of compliments & loving nourishment

Burning RightBurning Left
Hopefully Alex will not object to our reversal of his sculpture to exaggerate the emotionally unresolved cognitive depiction of many modern day disconnected relationships of convenience.

As stated by His Holiness the Dalai Lama
"People were made to be loved and things were made to be used,
"Today things are being loved and people being used".

Intuitively we know yet continue to deny & avoid the endless aching need for connection.

Further more we should also accept and appreciate that others also have boundaries which should be understood and appreciated.

So as were say.

 LogoSmaller 

HELP EVER HURT NEVER
A truly wonderful motto to strive to achieve inner self awareness.

Childs advice to parents:
With this later addition to this post we include this remarkable video of a 6 year old girl expressing her heart felt desires for here parents to be friends, and if they can be friends everyone can be happy and there will be no "Monsters".

In closing here are those few wonderful words on relationship by
Internationally renown  Family therapist

Virginia Satir.

Virginia Satir


I want to love you without clutching
Appreciate you without judging

Join you without invading
Invite you without demanding
Leave you without guilt
Evaluate you without blaming
And help you without insulting
If I can have the same from you
Then we can truly meet
And enrich each other

More on this Inner child and the adult at:


Ego The False Centre
&
Anger in Relationship


 
EMOTIONAL SELF ABUSE

Or Self Induced Suffocation
Burning Child  Alex Milov

"LOVE"
Alex Milov, Burning Man Exhibition.
The sculptor writes.

“It demonstrates a conflict between a man and a woman as well as the outer and inner expression of human nature.
Their inner selves are executed in the form of transparent children, who are holding out their hands through the grating.
As it’s getting dark (night falls) the children start to shine.
This shining is a symbol of purity and sincerity that brings people together and gives a chance of making up when the dark time arrives.”
 
 
Attempting to support a client who had emotionally relapsed to a rather dark and heavy place I wrote the following:
Read more...
 
TABULA RASA ---EMPTY SLATE

Burning Child  Alex Milov
Ukrainian artist Alexander Milov delighted Burning Man's festival-goers with a piece
that allowed them to reconnect with their inner child.


Tabula Rasa:
In Western philosophy, the concept of tabula rasa can be traced back to the writings of Aristotle who writes in his treatise (De Anima or On the Soul) of the "unscribed tablet." In one of the more well-known passages of this treatise he writes that:

"Have not we already disposed of the difficulty about interaction involving a common element, when we said that mind is in a sense potentially whatever is thinkable, though actually it is nothing until it has thought? 

What it thinks must be in it just as characters may be said to be on a writing-tablet on which as yet nothing stands written: 
this is exactly what happens with mind."


Most of us are raised to believe we are right as in correct due to the experience that life has lead us to believe. 
We learn of pleasant tastes and offensive smells from experience.

We learn language of our environment and with language comes accents.

And from our environment comes "accents of behaviour".

When such imprinted attitudes and EGOTISTICAL beliefs of the elder are challenged our "inner child" feels threatened. Interpreting this Sense as danger & possible loss of control our EGO attempts to defend aganst further wounding. 

This resistance can and does cause conflict and arguments.

The most important and critical matter for all of us is to learn to identify the triggered sensational experience in ourselves. Learning to sense this feeling and react appropriately is the key to successful mature relationship.

This sensation can and too often does trigger our Ego's learned behaviour to DEFEND its place of considered authority because we, through the habitual indoctrination of our EGO, believe we need to protect ourselves from being HURT, neglected, or in some manner shape or form be maltreated, so we defend to stop the recurrence of such pain.


hug-1
We have absolutely no intension of deliberately hurting anyone, if we should do so unintentionally please bring this to our attention immediately, because it is certainly not done deliberately.


Takes two to Tango
Please remember there are always thousands if not millions of "parts of us", in each individual  that may turn up in relationship and it is fair and reasonable for each individual to recognise their part to behave in a loving appreciative manner.

Boundaries:
Of course in all this it is expected and ok that we all do have our own established boundaries where we are entitled to set our limits to a reasonable degree of tolerance.

Further more we should also accept and appreciate that others also have boundaries which should be understood and appreciated by us.

So as were say. LogoSmaller 

HELP EVER HURT NEVER is a wonderful motto to strive to achieve.

Childs advice to parents:
With this later addition to this post we include this remarkable video of a 6 year old girl expressing her heart felt desires for here parents to be friends, and if they can be friends everyone can be happy and there will be no Monsters.

In closing here are those few wonderful words on relationship by therapist Virginia Satir.

I want to love you without clutching
Appreciate you without judging

Join you without invading
Invite you without demanding
Leave you without guilt
Evaluate you without blaming
And help you without insulting
If I can have the same from you
Then we can truly meet
And enrich each other

More on this Inner child and the adult at:

Anger in Relationship
 
 
 
 
TUNING FORK
movprism
During a Counselling session the words "We are all symbolic tuning forks" came from my mouth. I was rather amazed at this unprepared statement.
"Yes identical to tuning forks", I repeated after a pause.

I really don't know where that unprepared flash of imagination flew from. However it is quite an apt metaphor to explain and demonstrate ingrained, unconscious & often dysfunctional, conditioned behaviour, so maybe I should  say thanks to the creator of my, at times, rather vivid imagination.

During our life time we have all been emotionally hurt, damaged, wounded in some way, shape, manner or form, from a multitude of situations since the moment of our conception.

See this demonstration of Energetic transference of TUNING FORKS.
A positive parallel to inter relational communication or more the point.
Defensive self protective Emotional radiation.


Our psyche is irrefutably, naturally brilliant and adaptive to "take note" of and record that first hurt feeling.

So forever more when ever there is an unwelcome, emotional sensation experienced the signal instantly runs though the "cables" of our Central Nervous System back to where that first wound is anchored.

Possibly held and filed within every moment of our DNA through out the body with a cognitive library reference deep in our Reward Centre at the Hypothalamus.
For those who are familiar with the IceBerg theory where just 5% of us is conscious, the part above the water, whilst our unconscious self makes up 95% of the Iceberg 

So we may cry at the directors portray of a sad moment in a movie when the screen observation may contact some unconscious memory of retained sadness from a childhood moment of experience.

Similarly when a therapists recognises some indicator of sadness or emotional distress and therapeutically allows the client time to bring that energy forward for release we may cry.


Comforting the reward centre.

So as with the tuning forks when ever our psyche picks up any sense of vibrating threat we instantly reference the feeling back to our 'Being" to ensure our safety.
Read more...
 
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