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ANGER COUNSELLING


Anger
is the term used to describe the elevated behavoural response displayed by the EGO to any perceived to be or learned threat, challenge or "LIFE SENSITIVE" danger.

Anger maybe in response to any sense, or psychological sensitive perceeption of threat by any exposure to our life's sense of safety, a raised voice, harsh expression, even a stunned silence.
 
As Former prime Minister of Australia Tony Abbott demonstrated when he was uncomfortably confronted and furious by the Ch9 journalist who questioned him about his loose use of language in his comment that "Occasionally Shit Happens" when a soldier was killed in Afghanistan. 

Ego's learned response maybe instantaneously triggered to an adopted DEFENSIVE state.

This behaviour known as ANGER, maybe due to some emotional response to the sense of being shamed, embarrassed, victimized, challenged, humiliated or being weakened by threatened defeat, separation and possibly inevitable abandonment.

The rage of Achilles_
Our human physiology automatically responds to any "prodding or button pushing" around these old wounds and retained physiological memories of discomfort.


We just do not want to go there or be taken to that painful place, so we avoid it by walling up with self protecting defence which manifests within to be readily seen and heard all over our body and occasionally all over the neighborhood or the immediate vicinity.


Rage is often the unfortunate out come to this inability of not ever being trained to recognise or understand our own emotional vulnerability.



We have all been "toilet trained" to recognise the feelings of our bowel & bladder. 


However too few are ever trained to recognise, understand and respond appropriately to emotional discomfort.
We simplistically and unconsciously absorb our methods of coping with the discomfort of emotions by inheriting "accents of behaviour" from the environment in which we are raised.

Like Father, like son, so the sins of the Father are passed down for many generations.apple doesnt fall far from the tree 15
They say the "Apple does not fall far from the tree".

 

The Rage of Achilles

Anger is a stay away from me radiation.

Anger has often been misunderstood and deliberately but unconsciously used as a motivator which is easily identified as a sham when played upon and over the community as in such instances when the boxers "play nasty" at a press conference or the media pit two football rivals up in the local derby.

Such media manipulation is intended to provoke and incite the fight within all and attracts extra attention as we are alerted to a possible ‘enemy' and is used to deliberately motivate players and followers alike.


Manipulation with anger:


Ocasionally Disguised as "healthy free trading competition" , my hat!!

In many instances a lower than honest method of survival is to use one's own anger to deliberately manipulate other parties from obstructing one's clear path to success.


The passive aggressive, psychopathic personality often lies hidden within this nasty little self protective characteristic.


This often observed form of systemic psychopathy is practiced by less than honest people who operate in this manner and are completely in denial of or conversely desire to avoid dealing with their own wounds.


Such behaviour is regularly seen in institutionalised systemic business practices and readily identified in characters focused on clamouring through the respective association in search of any hierarchical promotion.

Less than honest commission rewarded sales sharks, "horse traders", gamblers, receivers of stolen goods, pay day lenders, some politicians and property developers regularly deceive the community behind the guise of dollar driven progress to forge new developments.

Advertising often runs a fine line between truth and outright deception, too often aimed at stimulating buyer vanity & their Ego


Anger in relationships:

"I'll show you attitude" 
Broken Home 2

Individually and in relationship disagreements anger is often used in similar fashion to show partners by deliberate and purposeful anger motivated effort that they are capable of being caring, attentive capable and cooperative.

Burning Child  Alex Milov
Inner Child pining for love, reach out, seeking to be accepted
Whilst Egotoistical Adults turn their back on each other.

In such situations well intended, but completely misdirected, loveless effort is expended to win the partner over by symbolically bringing home the flowers to effectively

"Throw them on the kitchen table or in the front door".

"Here I have made an effort to change, you made me feel like a total fool on the bus just to bring you home flowers.
"So it's really unfair of you to tell me and your friends that I have not tried to change."

"Yes sure I am critical but what do you expect when you don't want to sleep with or have sex with me."

"Am I supposed to be all loving and contrite when you tell me that I really don't get it after being together all this time"?

"When you tell me I'm too small, not big enough, come to soon, a hopless lover."

"You're no sex pot yourself, always too tired, got a head ache, pre menstral, clean sheets."

"Why wouldn't I feel like having a few beers with the boys after the footy when you make me feel like crap when I'm at home"?

"You are at home pleasing yourself all day long, I have deadlines and phones and people around me 10 hours a day, when I come home I just want to be left alone, is that ok, or is that too much to ask?"

Possible Scenarios:

These possible scenarios are exaggerated for the purpose of this article, however we believe they relay the sentiments of many therapy situations where individuals are guarding themselves against further wounding.

Rather than communicating they are projecting defensive messages back at their partner and neither party is actually communicating with the other.

Narcissism

narcissus_mazarini_louvre


In this region of personality discussion we also need to be aware of the Narcissistic aspects of character which can and often delude individuals who have too high an image of their own self ability and self importance.

See Lost in their EGO.

 

 

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