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Hannah Carter
Dedicated in memory of the
Late Hannah Carter & her family.

When this article was initially prepared my consciousness was dominated by the most

Recent male perpetrator of Domestic Violence

Who had murdered his wife & their 3 little children

In the most wicked sickening & violent attacks imaginable.



Startled by the 2020 Mardi Gras my minds attention fortunately shifted.

To the joy of loving connection. 

All genders & all ages seek loving connecting relationships.

With this I now seek readers permission to excuse, where ever

Necessary the previous predominance of male references to now 

Include LBGTQ, & straight Females in Violent relationships 

If the previous oversight may have be applicable to you.

Fundamentally the article is intended to address Domestic Violence.

Burning Child  Alex Milov

Do we really want to? 

Do we really want to 

Know why most

People especially

Men & Blokes  

“Bottle up”

Pain felt emotional



Could this possibly be an unconscious, autonomously inherent fear ,

Or permanent ungratified primal function within mankind?

Breeches of Trust

Relationship intimacy whether Straight or Gay

Open or Monogomous experience identical

Emotionally sensitive experiences when it comes to

Breeches & Abuse of Trust, Honesty & Faithful commitment.  


Once elevated, an ever present nervous system may automatically respond 

any perception of criticism which instantly

Triggers physiological & emotional
Sensations  Of “ alarm”.....danger.

To Fight or Fly 
for the individuals' entire life.


1. Identified, 2. Studied, 3. Understood  4. Professionally modified.

Unless this behaviour of instantaneous defensive response is therapeutically

1. Identified, 2. Studied, 3. Understood  4. Professionally modified. 

Within the inner being, through Essential self development Counselling

Such dysfunctional behaviour shall persist to burden the entire life.

When a person is fearful, all concentration goes to calming the fear with no thought for any other task. 

For a person to develop fully as a human being there must be some freedom from fear of personal attack, particularly in one's own home. (Maslow's Heirarchy of Essential Needs.)

Unfortunately Egotistically reinforced,

Dysfunctional social indoctrination,

Is habitually & unconsciously adopted to ignore ever present

Uncomfortable emotional
feelings & sensations. 

Feelings of Being "Second best” "Too small" or “Never enough”

For life.....

Such habitual repititive autonomous behaviour may leave many people 

Repeatedly yet unconsciously reinforcing their habitual behaviour

To deny, over ride, reject  


Outright ignore their emotional feeling hoping to :

"Get over it" "Suck it up" & "Move on"


"Get a life"

As often instructed by their  

Peers, Judges & Contempories

To any disturbing emotional sensations of

Stress or distress.

Consequently many folk become their own worst enemy in maintaining

Disempowering, self defeating, negative beliefs & corresponding

Avoidant behaviour/s.  

For example when loosing a grand final folk habitually avoid distress of 

Seasonal disappointment by using alcohol, drugs, gambling, travel, 

Or obliviously demand sexual relief

To over ride their emotional distress.

Overloaded with residual regret, disappointment & sorrow, they return

      To the game....vowing to do better & will try again.

Repeat offenders live, with unaddressed residual emotional burden.

In domestic relations it is generally the dominant partner who is

Autonomously driven to win

To avoid the vile feeling of rejection

Until that moment when... 

A violent brain snapping explosion takes physical possession   


Punched Woman

Hoping to stop the repetitive unconsolable discomforts of:

"Embarrasment, shame, loss, regret, inadequacy, guilt, humiliation, stupidity, insufficency".

"What Ever" !


"A critical note is to appreciate that most offenders may remain

Oblivious to these repressed

Unidentified aspects & toxic characteristic of their behaviour.

For this very reason there is resistance to even consider

Any need or desire to change".

Just as there possibly is or maybe for some now as you read this material.

Such self indoctrination locks many folk into righteous self belief & they see

No need to learn a different way or different language to be heard,

Respected, appreciated & understood.

Most people actually believe 'they are who they are' even when  

Children can see the "Naked King".

More of this
"Similarly in domestic relationships the male is autonomously driven to avoid the vile feeling of rejection until he violently explodes & strikes out hoping to stop HIS uncontrolable discomfort of

"Embarrasment, shame, loss, regret, inadequacy, guilt, humiliation, stupidity, insufficency".

"What Ever" !

Of being “put out”, not chosen, dropped, beaten, unwanted.

So they kills them self by suicide or

Kills others to avoid & put a STOP to that

Empty, lonely, isolated, unwanted, mind possessing  feeling.

Feelings of Being cast aside, becoming an isolated lonely Out caste

Shameful reinforcement, being an unloved, unwanted, rejected Out caste.

Across society we have lots of mates who have no idea who they

really are,

This is why we continue to see a woman killed weekly

by her

former partner.

Of course men & children too, also die at the hands of women.

Metaphorically, our human forest is heavily littered with material &

information so let us join together & have a meaningful discussion to stem

the Ravaging Fires of Domestic Violence.

We need lots of willing volunteers & unlimited resorces to address this

Emotionally lingering toxic accumulation of pain, innocence & ignorance.

See            NSW State Minister's call for help.

Rod McClure JP
Psychotherapist 777counselling.com
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